Well, today is the day I'm officially closer to 40 than 30. I can't honestly believe it but I'm looking at the date on my drivers license and apparently it's true. I've been thinking about this birthday long and hard to try and decide how I want to feel. I guess I could/should feel...well, old. It's officially no longer appropriate for me to shop at Forever 21, when I wear a jean jacket people might think (correctly so) that it's the same one I had in the 80's and when I get out of bed my joints make so much noise it wakes up my husband. All this is true and yes, a little sad.
BUT...
The truth is I've never been happier. I'm physically strong (yes, I will be vain enough to say that because I bust my buns every day at the gym and I've earned it.) I take care of myself - drink tons of green tea, take all my supplements, stretch, eat kale, etc. Most importantly, I've finally gotten to a place where I'm really happy with me. Not the me I thought I was supposed to be by 36. Not the me I thought I would be when I was still in my twenties. Just the me I've grown into over the past three decades. The road has been long and definitely bumpy. I've had good days and bad, just like everyone else.
The last year in particular has taught me a tremendous amount about strength. I was not a perfect Mom while Dan was in Afghanistan. I'm still not a perfect Mom, not by any stretch. But you know what? I'm a strong Mom. I'm a tough Mom and I know I can endure. I've got a few battle scars and I'm not afraid to show them. I'm also a wiser Mom and I'm finally taking what I've learned and applying it to my life in the hopes of making it better.
So today, as I look down at the other side of the proverbial hill, I'm actually not afraid. There will be new adventures, new joys and new sorrows. There will be good times and bad. But most of all there will be more days, more chances to reflect, adjust, embrace and enjoy. For that, I am infinitely thankful. Here's to turning 36 - strong is the new sexy, my friends!
